Off A Cliff

5/8/10

After I was finished with the Rotunda, I went out on the Lawn and saw immediately the different physical levels that represent the metaphysical Tree of Life. I walked down the whole thing, descending the levels, just walking around, taking pictures, listening to Spirit, being aware.

Rotunda from across the Lawn

When I reached the bottom, I turned on some support music, got focused, and started tuning in to the energy features of the land. I couldn’t really sense the overall structure so I started looking for what I call Power Spots.

On the first level I found one that was like a spiral and I followed the spiral, circling in and plopping down in the center. I pulled energy up from the earth, up my chakras, funneling it around and around like a water fountain. I felt the energy moving. Then I went to the second level, at each level asking for initiation within that level, just declaring that I’m here, I’m showing up, not expecting anything, just being there.

At the second level I felt a dance coming on. The energy there felt like a maze. I felt a bit inhibited there in the public place, but I moved around, following the energy and finally plopped down in the place that felt balanced. I was sitting there a few moments when images of movement began coming to me and I was seeing pieces of choreography in my head, which fit the energy I

The Lawn from inside the Rotunda

was sitting in. Then I felt myself shifting more and just threw my blanket behind me and fell back, laying in the cool, wet grass in the shade. It was cool and nice and soft. I love that. I lay there twice as long, at least, as at the first level, allowing the energy to come up into each individual chakra and spread out into a great flower. The solar plexus chakra sprouted a huge, giant flower compared to the others – five or six feet — compared to six or seven inches for the others. This was as I pulled it up through my channel the first time. Then I pulled it up directly from the earth, one chakra at a time, then let the chakra open up and sprout out as much as each wanted into “tutus.” Again, my fourth chakra sprouted up into a two-tier tree. First it sprouted up to one level, then it sprouted up a second level. As I did those, my heart sprouted thousands of flowers.

At the third level, I was sitting pretty close to the sidewalk, which I thought would distract me, but it didn’t. I forget what happened there. I had something going on energetically… um… LOL  Purification, Yes, I think that is what came to me at that level. The energy swirled around me, around my whole body and down my chakras and cleansed all my chakras, then swirled around the outside, just swirling all the dense energies away like a tornado.

Academikal village on the Lawn

On the fourth level (I may have these reversed but I think it’s in this order), the energy came from the core of the earth and shot straight through me into outer space in a corkscrew fashion, like when you hold a wet towel at both ends and spin it. I connected with stars far away. I asked them to cleanse my mental field and bring me clear thinking and sound judgment for that is supposed to be the purpose of that place, of that level.

I walked through the fifth level, which is the accumulation of all the levels, just acknowledging Spirit. I didn’t sense anything new there so I thanked the spirits and left. I still have more work to do in this place and, at some point, will need to return for further exploration and interaction.

5/8/10

Today I spent a couple hours seeking out the geomantic features at the University of Virginia (UVA) in the Academikal Village. This is the original section of the college, conceived by Thomas Jefferson as a place where professors and university students of all levels could live and eat and learn together, inspiring intellectual debate. I began at the Rotunda, the central building of the village which was originally the library (not, as in most other colleges of the time, a chapel), its dome shape inspired by Rome’s Pantheon and symbolic of the enlightened human mind. It also housed classrooms as well as some meeting areas, which are still filled today with furnishings of that period.

I began by walking around it for quite a while, as has become my habit, just looking around and feeling it out. Unable to see or sense a single thing, and feeling a bit dubious about the whole alleged feature, I sat down and began to pray to the supreme being who was supposedly more accessible from here. Why would one need a special place to connect with the Great Spirit? I wondered. After all, isn’t God everywhere, accessible from every place equally? Why then would there be a special geomantic feature to serve as a doorway of sorts to the Ancient of Days? Perhaps it connected to a “supreme” being I knew nothing about. That would be a new one for me.

So I sat, contemplating my history of walking with Supreme Being: the ups and downs, ins and outs of that relationship over the years. I have been living a conscious spiritual life since 13, so it’s been a long time since I first connected with Creator and felt the love and power of Spirit wash over my being. I started praying, speaking to the Supreme Being who is allegedly accessible there, telling him (I had a masculine sense of the place), telling God, how I want to know and feel and sense him as I once did when it was all brand new. I had the urge to feel  Spirit as close to me as I once did in my life, in the closest of times, those days before I became so educated and sophisticated that I distanced myself from Source in a way. Funny that I should have this thought in a place dedicated to the human mind. Yet I know it to be true that we sometimes allow our mind to draw us away, rather than closer to, the Source of all the beauty and wonder with which our mind is enraptured.

At some point I finally started feeling a shift in consciousness, a different sort of energy; subtle but definitely there. And for a brief few moments, I began to see something overlaying the physical structure. But the day was so long and I so tired that I honestly don’t remember now what happened in that altered state. What came out of it – the thing I felt the most – was my saying I was showing up for my life. “Here I am, I’m showing up for my life. Help me Spirit, I want to show up for my life!”

It has been hard these last few years. Readers who don’t know me may be unaware that I am living with disabilities: pain and fatigue and migraines that act like a thick, gloppy soup I have to push through every day to get anywhere. Sometimes it is easier to check out, to dull oneself so you don’t feel the pain, than to stay with it, day in and day out. I have tried to stay conscious, but I can do better. I want to swim in the clear, crisp, sparkling ocean of Spirit — to taste the saltiness, embibe in the invigoration — that comes from that pure, sweet place where our spirits dwell in Unity; where All is well. I’ve walked there before, I know the place. How did I go adrift? More than anything, I want to feel the nearness of Spirit, as close as my breath.

And so it is that I left the Rotunda, having offered contrite and sincere prayers for revival, renewal, restoration and ongoing evolution. And so I came to name this day, “Showing Up for My Life.”

6/1/10

Round 1: The Set-Up

Having spent the weekend letting loose in Memphis, I had run around for several days in the sweltering, humid city — dancing and sweating, reclining in grass or sitting on dirty benches, and otherwise becoming a content but filthy mess. I decided it was time to freshen up so headed to a truck stop, paying for a nice shower while doing my laundry. Clean and shiny again, I headed to the rest stop where I intended to sleep for the night. Coming out of the bathroom, I noticed a janitor buffing the floor. At least, that’s the thought I had before I suddenly slipped and fell — hard — right on my face. Assessing myself, I realized I was unhurt but covered in wet wax. My newly cleaned clothes and fresh body were now a sticky mess. The janitor, horrified, helped me up and proceeded to try to clean me up — being ridiculously inappropriate I might add, though I took it with good humor. Still, I smelled of wax and had nasty clothes when I left the area. That was Round 1.

The next day I went to Pinson Mounds in Pinson, TN. This is a prehistoric ceremonial village which dates to about the time of Christ. It is also said to be a known power spot.  It was hot there and, as I ate my lunch in the picnic area, I was wishing it would really rain instead of just piddling around with all the brief sprinkles and showers Father Sky had been offering. I got my wish when, suddenly, there was a great downpour with a thunderstorm. I lay in my van enjoying the rain hitting the metal roof of my car. Eventually it cleared, and I emerged to walk the mounds. I took about ten steps before it happened.

Round 2: Fall Down, Get Back Up

My feet lost all traction and, unable to stop it, observed myself helplessly slide face-first into the mud. My arms, where I had tried to break the fall, and my entire front from the waist down were covered. I stood, arms spread wide from my body, looking for a place in the park where I might wash this newest mishap from my body. Sometimes, it just doesn’t pay to bathe. I finally did find a spigot, washing myself best I could and, when at last I found a bathroom, changed from my muddied clothes to yet another freshly-washed pair.

Finally, as the day wore toward sunset, I walked around the mounds a bit, following my usual routine of inviting the spirits of the land and the ancestors to lead me, guide me, and reveal to me anything they so chose. It was close to closing time by then and I was listening intensely, as I wanted to make sure I did whatever was most important. This turned out to be climbing Saul’s Mound, which is 72 feet high, I believe.

Sunset from Saul's Mound

At this place, the archeologists had found the remains of posts that indicated that the people had had a structure there that was exactly aligned to the four directions. So up I climbed, ascending the six flights of stairs to reach the spot which was, most likely, a place where the stars and directions were studied, honored, and consulted. It was here, atop this rise, that I greeted the four directions and my animal guides, allowing energy of this power spot to fill me, lift me, and lighten me up. My past twenty four hours had been challenging — and comical — but I was no worse for the wear. And so it is that we learn to laugh at life, to take the slippery-slidey challenges into stride. We fall down, we get up. A good dose of humor helps this process immensely. And so I carry this story — this memory of being a muddy mess — fondly, as a reminder to always laugh at myself and my circumstances. Ho. Thank you Spirit.

4/29/10

From the start, it seemed that a theme of this trip is death and transformation. Before I ever departed, I did a full Toltec Oracle spread for the journey and the ruler card, which informs all the other cards in the spread, was the underworld. Since then the theme has continued. The other day a dragonfly tapped me on the right shoulder. I followed it to see if it had something to show me but it just flitted around happy to Be. I took it to heart, however, listening to the message of dragonfly. Then, a couple days later, a dragonfly hovered in front of me for several minutes, then flitted around the general area about me.

Dragonfly Medicine

Dragonflies are about dissolving illusion, so I asked Spirit what illusion I must dissolve in order to live from my core. The next day I was practically swamped with dragonflies. They were everywhere! One landed on my car door and wouldn’t leave. It took several minutes of scooching it over inch by inch to get it to where my car door wouldn’t smoosh it upon closing. Then, when I finally got it to leave my car door, it landed on my lawn chair and there it stayed. Don’t you love it when things like that happen?

Pickin’ the Bones

That next day, I drew a vulture card from the Toltec oracle. Vulture is about using what has died as nourishment for something new. There’s sadness when there’s death – and I’ve had a lot of dreams die in the last few years – but vulture says to not let your heart be heavy, but take all the lessons learned from what is past and use them to fuel a new cycle.

The day after that I got up in the morning to find baby butterflies everywhere! Little baby butterflies — which also represent transformation — flitting happily around my campsite. Then I drew from the Toltec Oracle the Monkey. This was kind of humorous because just the day before I had been thinking about my childhood and the saying “monkey see, monkey do,” had popped into my head.

Mastering the Maneuvers

Monkey represents curiosity and the capacity to do research out of a deep desire for knowledge and the accompanying wisdom. Monkey medicine is about teaching, counseling, being a mentor – all of which I am – but, at its deepest, monkey is about mastering energetic maneuvers that allow one to manipulate physical reality. The question became, “HOW do I dissolve illusion to create new reality?” One of the answers is to persevere. Persevere in the way I have gone, persevere in research and experiential learning to move toward that goal. Persevere in what has worked for you, using what you have learned through the deaths and triumphs in your life.

And so it is that I hold the question to Spirit, “How do I integrate all the losses I’ve experienced the last few years, feeding on the corpse of what has died to nourish a new cycle? And how do I find the strength and courage to dissolve the illusion that serves as the barrier to that new cycle?”

Pick the bones.

Do not mourn, but gather your strength from the death of what was to nourish yourself for what is, and is to come. Ho.