Off A Cliff

4/29/10

From the start, it seemed that a theme of this trip is death and transformation. Before I ever departed, I did a full Toltec Oracle spread for the journey and the ruler card, which informs all the other cards in the spread, was the underworld. Since then the theme has continued. The other day a dragonfly tapped me on the right shoulder. I followed it to see if it had something to show me but it just flitted around happy to Be. I took it to heart, however, listening to the message of dragonfly. Then, a couple days later, a dragonfly hovered in front of me for several minutes, then flitted around the general area about me.

Dragonfly Medicine

Dragonflies are about dissolving illusion, so I asked Spirit what illusion I must dissolve in order to live from my core. The next day I was practically swamped with dragonflies. They were everywhere! One landed on my car door and wouldn’t leave. It took several minutes of scooching it over inch by inch to get it to where my car door wouldn’t smoosh it upon closing. Then, when I finally got it to leave my car door, it landed on my lawn chair and there it stayed. Don’t you love it when things like that happen?

Pickin’ the Bones

That next day, I drew a vulture card from the Toltec oracle. Vulture is about using what has died as nourishment for something new. There’s sadness when there’s death – and I’ve had a lot of dreams die in the last few years – but vulture says to not let your heart be heavy, but take all the lessons learned from what is past and use them to fuel a new cycle.

The day after that I got up in the morning to find baby butterflies everywhere! Little baby butterflies — which also represent transformation — flitting happily around my campsite. Then I drew from the Toltec Oracle the Monkey. This was kind of humorous because just the day before I had been thinking about my childhood and the saying “monkey see, monkey do,” had popped into my head.

Mastering the Maneuvers

Monkey represents curiosity and the capacity to do research out of a deep desire for knowledge and the accompanying wisdom. Monkey medicine is about teaching, counseling, being a mentor – all of which I am – but, at its deepest, monkey is about mastering energetic maneuvers that allow one to manipulate physical reality. The question became, “HOW do I dissolve illusion to create new reality?” One of the answers is to persevere. Persevere in the way I have gone, persevere in research and experiential learning to move toward that goal. Persevere in what has worked for you, using what you have learned through the deaths and triumphs in your life.

And so it is that I hold the question to Spirit, “How do I integrate all the losses I’ve experienced the last few years, feeding on the corpse of what has died to nourish a new cycle? And how do I find the strength and courage to dissolve the illusion that serves as the barrier to that new cycle?”

Pick the bones.

Do not mourn, but gather your strength from the death of what was to nourish yourself for what is, and is to come. Ho.